Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
