he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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