I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
