Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
