i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had sex on a roof
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
