he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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