yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
