If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
