Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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