i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
