nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
