"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
