Sacagawea was the original milf.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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