Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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