Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh god the rape fog is back!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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