Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
should my penis look like a turkey
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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