Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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