Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize