She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
