Just fell off a train. Bad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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