Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
