i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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