it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
