First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
