meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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