so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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