i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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