It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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