I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
