I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
