What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
