Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
