I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize