Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
