i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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