Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
