I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
