2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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