Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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