If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize