you traded sex for a burrito?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize