I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
