I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
