You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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