I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize