Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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