My first STD was from a foam party
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
