He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm too high and old for this...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
