i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
