You're completely useless in the revolution.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The ass gains better be worth it
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