So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Small penises have feelings too.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize