I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
