So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
