Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You ruined the universe
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
