No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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