i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
