So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize