I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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