I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
