I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you never un-have a 4some
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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