I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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