it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
