and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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