I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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