Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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