Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
