new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
